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that’s his story
Tonight we ate dinner at one of my dad’s favorite restaurants, The Dixie Cafe.
Oh, have I mentioned that my dad packed up his belongings and moved to Washington? Without telling us?
Dad moved to Arkansas 4 years ago because he needed someone close by to help him. He’s almost 81 years old now, he has Parkinson’s disease, and he tends to fall down a lot. A couple of months ago he fell while shopping at Wal-Mart. They called an ambulance, and Dad ended up with some nasty bruises, a cut over his left eye that had to be stitched up, and a few other minor injuries.
When all of that happened, he didn’t call us and tell us what was going on. Basically what it all boils down to is that my dad is a hard headed, stubborn old man whose pride won’t allow him to ever admit he has done anything wrong or that he needs someone else’s help.
It was obvious not just to Roger and me, but to everyone else who had any kind of contact with him, that he needed to be in a place where he could maintain some measure of independence and still have people to help him clean, do laundry, bathe, pick him up when he falls down……that kind of thing. When I suggested he look into retirement/assisted living facilities he got very angry and told me he’d DIE before he went to “one of those places.”
One evening he and I were talking on the phone, and he told me that he had given his doctor medical power of attorney. He told me that his doctor wasn’t just an MD, but an attorney as well, and he had all the papers in his office for dad to sign ~ they got it all taken care of in the blink of an eye. I told my dad that sounded a little fishy to me, and I wanted to check with my attorney to make sure this guy was legitimate. That sent my dad off into one of his rages, and he hung up on me.
The next day Dad called Roger and told him this outrageous story about how I threatened to take legal action against him, and that I wanted to put him “away” so that I wouldn’t have to bother with him anymore. Roger told Dad that wasn’t the case, but my dad refused to listen (which is nothing new for my dad ~ he rarely listens to anyone). He also told Roger that I had been disrespectful to him and I owed him an apology ~ he said he wasn’t going to speak to me again until I apologized. Hmmmmm.
The next thing we know, he has packed up all of his belongings and moved to a retirement/assisted living facility in Washington!
The only reason we found out he was gone was that it had been so long since we’d heard from him that we decided to check on him. His cell phone number had been disconnected, so Roger drove over to Dad’s apartment. Guess what. Dad was gone. Apparently he moved a few weeks ago ~ I don’t know how, or who helped him or anything else. All I know is that he packed up his stuff and drove up to Washington. He’s living in an assisted living facility that sounds quite nice, actually.
The funny thing is that he still hasn’t contacted us to let us know he left. Isn’t that sad? I think it’s funny and sad all at the same time. The stubborn old coot just left Arkansas behind and us with it. We were the only family he had. I’m an only child ~ he disowned his kids from his first marriage (although I have no idea why). My mom divorced him long ago; even so, she’s in an Alzheimer’s facility and doesn’t even remember who he is at this point. He has one friend in the entire world who has stuck with him for a long time ~ no one else has been able (or willing?) to do that. And now he has alienated himself from the only child he had left, and the only grandchildren and great grandchildren he’ll ever have. We know he’s in Washington, and we know he’s in what sounds like a nice assisted living facility. That’s all. No phone number, no email address, no physical address, nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
All I can do is shake my head and chuckle because, whether he likes to admit it or not, he did exactly the thing I was suggesting he do! Amazing.
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Trish, that’s a sad story.
I’m sorry that things with your dad took this turn.
Oh, Trish. I’m glad to hear that he’s in a place he probably needs to be, but sad that it happened this way. I know when I see people behave in an incredibly stubborn way, it makes me look at myself, because I can have those tendencies. I don’t think mine are to that extreme, though. But it surely runs in my family. LOL!! Praying that there would be reconciliation in your family.