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hypothetical situation (part 1)
Imagine with me:
You’ve been feeling crummy for a while. A long while. You’re tired, feel like you have a never-ending cold, and your hair seems to be falling out in record amounts. These symptoms come and go in no discernible pattern ~ one day you’re feeling well enough to go to work, and the next day you’re completely wiped out and have to spend the entire day in bed.
You’ve tried just about everything you can think of to feel better and boost your immune system ~ rest, vitamins, exercise, proper amounts of sunlight, organic foods…you’ve even cut certain foods out of your diet, but nothing really seems to help. Your amazing and wonderfully supportive hubby decides to take you and the kids (who are teens and can care for themselves) on a vacation ~ a couple of vacations, actually. You go to the beach and enjoy the sand in your toes, listen to the sound of the surf, and sit in a beach chair under an umbrella trying to recouperate. You go to an exclusive, five-star resort on the Nova Scotia coast where hubby and the kids can play golf all day, and all you’re required to do is rest, relax, read a couple of books, and try to regain your energy and strength.
For whatever reason though, nothing helps. You’re frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, discouraged, and just plain fed up. Another visit to the doctor seems like a waste of time (since you’ve seen the doctor probably 10 times in the last 12 months), but you go anyway because you desperately want to figure out what’s wrong with you. You want to get better.
A few days later the doctor’s office calls. The doctor would like to see you ~ in person ~ to discuss some results from your last battery of tests. You’re pretty savvy when it comes to medical stuff, since you have a degree in the medical field, and you’re fairly confident whatever the doc wants to discuss with you probably isn’t good news.
To this point, you haven’t discussed your symptoms in depth with anyone other than your husband and your doctor. Your best friend knows you’ve been feeling a little “off” but you haven’t, for whatever reason, really opened up to her and filled her in.
Now, let’s say your best female friend is truly your best (female) friend. She’s more of a sister to you than your “real” sisters ~ you consider her your family, and that’s the best thing in the world because she’s the family you’ve chosen, not the family you have because of a biological connection. For several years you and your best friend lived in the same town, went to the same church, regularly got together to let the kids play, went to Bible studies together, and even had lunch out together about once a week. When her husband took a new job in a state 19 hours away, you didn’t let it stop you or even make a dent in your friendship. Now you talk on the phone 3 or 4 times a week, usually for at least an hour each time. You visit one another about once a quarter ~ sometimes she comes to stay at your house, sometimes you go to stay at her house. Your friendship is solid. You’ve been through a LOT together ~ in your 10 years of friendship, the only human being on this earth you could claim a closer relationship with would be your husband. You love your best friend because you’re really, truly friends. Friends in the Lord. Solid chosen sisters. There’s nothing she can’t tell you or you can’t tell her.
Except, for some reason, you’re holding back from her the full knowledge of your illness.
The doctor’s report isn’t good. He tells you that you have leukemia. He wants you to start chemotherapy right away.
What would YOU do, in this situation??
(hypothetical situation, part 2 coming soon)
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4 Joyful Comments Shared to “hypothetical situation (part 1)”
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Wow, Trish. That’s a loaded question indeed. Of course, it’s always easier to answer a question when it’s hypothetical.
On that basis, I believe that it would be time to come clean with my friend and let her know what’s going on. I would also be praying my little heart out. Last, I would be doing a ton of research.
I’m curious to hear the remainder of this . . .
Hugs,
Dianne
Wow, that is really difficult. Well, I would be honest with my best friend and family members and let them know what is going on. They would need to be there for me and form a circle of hope and love. Also, I would continue to pray for healing, find guidance at a good church, and find a cure hopefully.
I’m sure there’s a way to get the comments left on my Facebook page about this post to cross-post here, but I haven’t a clue how to do that. Basically everyone seems to be in agreement that the best friend should be told what’s going on so she can be part of your support network.
I won’t leave you hanging on this ~ I’ll get part 2 up as soon as I can.
I’m in the process of writing it now…
Wow, this is a heartbreaking situation to say the least. Without knowing your best friend I would have to question where she is currently at in her emotional processing of this detrimental life state. Clearly, the two of you have an extremely strong bond. I’d even venture to say that you are a pillar in her life even today (whether you feel it or not) because she ‘Knows’ that you’re out there loving and thinking about her everyday. That alone is powerful. From reading through your blog (which is wonderful by the way), I can see that you are an amazingly strong woman who Believes that God is our truth and has a reason for all things. If your friend is not yet to this point in her grieving, then she may not be ready to hear how great our God is. For you or I, this knowledge gives us strength and comfort. For her though, she may be angry with God and simply not ready to face her ‘sister’ who she knows in her heart speaks the truth. Right now, she may just need to be angry and work through it. Continue to pray for her and her family with all that you have. She may have already worked through this emotional state and is now just too weak and embarrassed to reunify with you. Either way, prayer is what she needs most. These are just my thoughts – I could certainly be wrong. I’ll be sure to pray for you and yours. Good luck!