.jpg)
it has been suggested…
Over the past week alone, 17 people (I truly have kept track!) have suggested I write a book about my adoption/reunion experience. Part of my struggle with how much to write on this blog is because these 17 people are not the first 17, by a long shot, who have suggested that very thing.
I know that writing about the issues I’ve faced and dealt with regarding releasing my daughter for adoption, locating her 19 years later, and all of the events that have happened since she and I reunited will open up not just me but my entire family to scrutiny. My concern about the scrutiny is not for myself ~ my concern is for those who are in my life who will also be placed in the line of fire.
I don’t have a problem airing my personal dirty laundry in a public forum ~ really, I don’t. And I know just from some of the comments I’ve been forced to moderate here on my blog that there are plenty of people who have plenty to say about my “dirty laundry.” I’ve been told that I have no right to raise my granddaughter. I’ve been told I am a hypocrite for supporting parental rights when I “gave up” my first child. I’ve been blamed for everything from the price of gasoline to the fact that the sun sets in the west. It’s amazing how easy it is for people who don’t know the whole story to throw blame around.
All of that I can handle. I’m an extremely sensitive person, but I also know what is appropriate for me to be sensitive about, and what’s not. Truly, the price of gasoline and the fact that the sun sets in the west are not my fault. And there’s always more to the story than can be told in one, or even ten, sittings.
What I’m concerned about is the backlash to the rest of my family and my friends ~ even to my ex-husband and his family.
I have no desire to garner favor or fame for myself. But again and again I’m told that there are others out there who are experiencing the same kind of trials and triumphs I’ve gone through (and I’m still going through). I’ve been reminded that my story may very well help others to see that they are not alone, and that it is possible to weather the storms of life without drowning.
So, how do I share my story and what’s in my heart without exposing my family and friends to the possible ugliness that may be waiting to pounce? My initial reaction is to go into protective mama mode and say that the good that may come from sharing my story could very well be overshadowed by the negativity from other people. People who, I would venture a guess, really don’t have any kind of experience with what my story involves and who probably shouldn’t have anything negative to say (but inevitable will).
How do I share who I am, what I’ve learned, and what I know that could help others without opening the flood dams and endangering those who are closest and dearest to me?
Edited later to add: ultimately, this whole thing is not about me, my friends and family, those who may be helped, or even those who will have nothing positive to say. It’s about God. It always has been. I know God will accomplish what He plans to accomplish through all of this ~ Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!Share A Joyful Comment
4 Joyful Comments Shared to “it has been suggested…”
Your joyful comment
Trish,
Hi, hon. It’s me again. Oh, how I wish I knew the right way to go on this. There are pros and cons to writing a book just as there are to EVERY choice we make. My husband is famous for saying “The bad thing about choices is that you have to live with them.” Bah!
Pray about it. And then pray some more. As long as it’s not about personal gain and it glorifies God then that should be your decision. Only He knows your heart.
I don’t understand how people feel they have the right to judge you or anyone else for that matter. You are not the same person today that you were yesterday so how could you possibly be the same person that you were 2 decades ago? No one is. The great thing about our glorious God is that he gave us free will. If someone doesn’t like what you have to say thay are *free* to stop reading. Hm… how ’bout that???
I’m done ranting… I just want people to understand that we should embrace each others differences and learn to love one another rather thanspend our time trying to tear each other down. Ephesians 4:32 NIV “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Your Sister in Christ,
Delaney
Praying with you as you seek the path that God would have you take. I would throw out there that quite often authors use made up names….for the very reasons you mention.
Trish – You may remember me from our recent involvement together on the online SANITY support group. Recently, my oldest adopted daughter reunited with her birth mother and it was a wonderful reunion. Sara and I are going to Iowa in November so that I can meet her biological family! We will be taking with us Sara’s newborn daughter, whom she decided to keep rather than place for adoption after soul-searching for a long time, and my husband and I are helping her to raise little Katherine. Sara is a prodigal daughter is just recently returned home in August before her daughter’s birth in September. I am like you in the sense of wanting to write a book because there IS so much to share to help others. Perhaps we can discuss this at some point in time – it would be interesting to hear your point of view as the biological mother and compare it to mine as an adopotive mother, plus both of us now in the midst of helping to raise our granddaughters. Who knows – maybe we could even co-author a book together! God bless you!
Good morning! This is the first time I’ve read your blog…definitely from God! I would love to hear your story. I’m praying with you that God would reveal His will to you in His timing. Celebrate this day from the Lord! May God bless you abundantly! Love, Kimberly