My daughter Ashley is my child from my first marriage. Most people don’t know that I was married once before I married Roger. I was 18, young, foolish, and honestly I was in complete rebellion towards my parents.
As you can imagine, it’s a very long story. The short version of the long story is that by 14 months into the marriage, my (ex)husband had been involved in several extra-marital affairs. At that point I felt it was best that I end the marriage. I will not bash on my ex-husband ~ it was a LONG time ago. God has forgiven me of my sins, and I have been given the strength and mercy to forgive my ex and move on.
About a week after I left that marriage, I found out I was pregnant. I don’t know that words can adequately describe the emotional flood and turmoil I experienced. I felt caught between a rock and a hard place at that point in my life ~ but in the end, it was decided that adoption would be best for the child. It was without a doubt the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.
On
August 22, 1988, I gave birth to an amazing, perfect, beautiful little girl. I spent a couple of days in the hospital with her, then had to give her over to the attorney who was handling the adoption. I was able to see my daughter one more time before she was given to her adopting parents. Since then I have had no contact with either her or her adoptive parents.
My heart has always ached to know where my daughter was, how she was, who she was ~ but I thought finding her would be very difficult. Recently Roger began urging me to find my daughter ~ she’s 19 years old now, and Roger knows how much I’ve wanted to find her. Patrick and Sawyer have known about Ashley all of their lives, and they were (and are) also very supportive of me finding her.
I contacted a couple of Search Angels who have the birth records for
Ohio and asked if they could help me find my daughter. They were able to locate her, and passed the information along to me.
I fretted over contacting her, because obviously I didn’t really know anything about her situation or how she would feel if I contacted her. But I went ahead and sent her a message, praying that whatever her reaction would be, I would handle it well and that the Lord’s hand would guide me.
Shortly after sending her a message through her MySpace page, I heard back from Ashley. She sent me her phone number in an email and asked me to call her. She was as excited about being found as I was about finding her! God worked this whole thing out so amazingly well ~ and I am so incredibly thankful to Him.
When Ashley told me she is pregnant with her first child, I was over-the-moon elated. Not only have I found my daughter, but I’m going to be a grandmother in late June or early July! Wow ~ and I just recently celebrated my 40th birthday. It has been a lot to digest.
Roger and I arranged for Ashley to come to Arkansas in March. At that point I felt that it was appropriate to let people know about my previous marriage and the adoption. The warm reception and love my friends have shown since I began telling them this story has been incredible. When I told Ashley that my friends, who don’t even know her yet, want to give her a baby shower while she is here visiting, she was overwhelmed.
As is my habit, please allow me be frank and upfront. Ashley is not a Christian; she does not know Jesus as her Lord and Savior. She currently lives with her fiancé Jacob, and they plan to marry sometime after the baby is born. While this is, of course, not the ideal situation, I pray that you would see her through the eyes of Jesus as one of His precious children who He loves and with who He desires to have a relationship. Ashley and I have begun conversing about God and about Jesus. I want Ashley to know the love of God, and to see Jesus in me and my family. I’m praying that the seeds will be planted, and that the Holy Spirit would move and work in her life in order to bring her to Him.
Ashley had an ultrasound last week which revealed she is going to have a girl. She and Jacob have decided to name the baby Attison Cole Lloyd. Roger and I are absolutely thrilled about being grandparents, and are thrilled to be receiving a granddaughter. We truly love Ashley, Jacob and Attison, and we are praying that our love for them will be apparent as well as transparent.
That, in essence, is the basic story. I would be more than happy to answer any questions you might have. I can be contacted by email at simplescrapperATgmailDOTcom if you would like to get more information from me about our story.
I am truly humbled and feel blessed beyond measure by the sweet welcome and love my daughter and soon-to-arrive granddaughter have received from family and friends alike. Roger and I covet your prayers as we enter this new phase in our lives.
There are so many more details to our story ~ it would take pages and pages to relate them all. But more than anything we look forward to watching as God unfolds this miracle in our lives, and how He uses it to His glory.
To read updates about our story, please click here.
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