.jpg)
what is fibromyalgia?
From Good Living with Fibromyalgia, The Arthritis Foundation, 2006:
Your first hint of fibromyalgia may be aching, painful muscles, fatigue and disturbed sleep. Your shoulders hurt, and come to think of it, so do your knees and hips. Your sleep is troubled, and you can’t remember the last time you woke refreshed. You may have headaches and stomach pain, and just walking to the mailbox feels like more exercise than you can or want to manage. In many spots, even a little pressure feels painful. You take aspirin and you rest, but nothing seems to help much. Mostly, you feel miserable and bewildered: “What on earth is happening to my body?” you may ask yourself. Your physician may not be able to diagnose the cause of the symptoms at first, subjecting you to many tests that do not confirm the source of your problem.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia on Wednesday, April 26, 2006. I remember the date because that was the day a 3-month-long extremely intense “illness” finally had a name. I had been taking all kinds of pain pills for what we thought was perhaps some sort of inflamation or dislocation in my lower back. At that point, I had been on some very heavy pain pills for over 3 months ~ we’re talking morphine in pill form here, not just Tylenol #3 or Vicodin.
I had seen all kinds of doctors over the previous 3 months ~ a neurologist (who did some REALLY horrible tests), a neurosurgeon (who injected steroids into my epidural sac), a rheumatologist (who told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with me), orthopaedic doctors, several general practice doctors, and other assorted MDs. Some were military doctors, most were civilians. My Primary Care Manager (my regular doc) was at his wits end trying to help me feel better and figure out what was wrong with me. He assigned me to a “case worker” and started sending me to every specialist he could think of. The “case worker” assignment was actually a good thing ~ it meant that I had insurance approval for any doctor’s visits and most procedures simply by picking up the phone and placing a call. It also meant there was someone checking on me almost every day, asking how I was, what I needed, and what they could do for me. It wasn’t much, but it helped to know that the local medical staff I was working with really did care about what was going on with me.
My appointment on Wednesday, April 26 was with what I thought was a pain management specialist. Actually, he is a pain management specialist ~ that’s why my PCM sent me to him ~ but for me he turned out to be a lot more. He also happens to be the local expert on fibromyalgia, and our “chance meeting” arranged by my insurance company was nothing less than a God-send (literally).
Hubby and I were sitting in the treatment room, waiting for the doc to come in. I had worn loose clothing, as I typically try to do, and I had settled myself on the table, taken off my shoes, and leaned back against the wall. It was uncomfortable, since backpain was my major complaint, but it was better than trying to sit up straight.
We heard the doctor (I’ll call him Dr. S) in the hallway take my chart out of the holder and start to review it. He stepped into the room a minute or two later. After a brief moment in which he made a very thorough observation of my loose clothing, no shoes and fidgeting feet, he asked me why I was there to see him. I told him about the pain I was having in my back, and the other doctors and treatments I had already received. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I don’t think you have a back problem. I do, however, think I know what the problem is, but let’s talk a little bit first.”
He started by asking me a question or two. Then the really freaky thing happened. He started telling me things about myself that he really should not have known. He told me about different habits I have, things I do, things I avoid, behaviors I exhibit and tendencies I have. He told me things that only Hubby or someone who has lived with me for a very long time would have known. Hubby and I sat there with our mouths open, wondering how he knew these things ~ he must have listed 30 different attributes of mine. Then he summed it all up in one sentence: “You have fibromyalgia.”
Hubby and I had done some research on the different symptoms I had been experiencing, and we had come across fibromyalgia in our research. It seemed a plausible diagnosis, but my PCM had been reluctant to even discuss the possibility. To be in this doctor’s office, a doctor who had never set eyes on me before, and be told straight out that I have fibromyalgia was a bit of a shock. But after listening to him tell me all about myself, it was really the only conclusion we could come to. He told me that he was a specialist/expert in the field, and that I was “lucky” to have stumbled into his office. I said it was a blessing, not luck.
Dr. S told me to stop taking all of the different pain medications I was taking, and to only take the new prescriptions he was going to give me. He said that most fibromyalgia sufferers are hypersensitive, and pain medications, especially the extremely strong kind I was on, only make the pain escalate. That made sense, since the stronger the pain meds I was on the more intense my pain became. I left his office with a handful of full prescription sheets, and several different types of medication samples.
Within a week I was beginning to feeling better. It was like I was a whole new person once I was off the really strong (narcotic) pain meds. My brain fog started to clear, the pain in my back was less, I felt better overall, I had more energy, and I was able to sleep for longer stretches than I had ever done before. It was amazing.
Since then I do believe the medications Dr. S put me on have helped things to improve. I still have flare-ups ~ days when I’m exhausted before I even get out of bed, or I have a lot of pain all over my body. Several of the symptoms of fibromyalgia are present daily (headaches, all over achiness, and fatigue tend to be the most regular problems for me), but overall I feel better. I try to wear loose clothing, and I only wear make~up when absolutely necessary (yes, even wearing make~up is uncomfortable, as strange as that may sound). I’m still taking several different medications, but the combination of these meds has helped to improve the quality of life for me and my family, so I don’t complain about taking them. I’m still in the discovery process ~ trying to figure out if I have any types of food triggers, what activities make me feel better and which ones make me feel worse, what my activity limits are, how much stress is too much for me, etc., etc. But at least I know now what to look for, and I can try to adjust my activities to accomodate my needs and limits.
Not having a diagnosis, or having the wrong diagnosis, was far worse than knowing I have fibromyalgia. We have been able to trace my fibromyalgia symptoms all the way back to my childhood. This diagnosis has explained a lot for me, especially why I don’t have the energy level or stress tolerance that my “normal” friends seem to have. But I count it all as a blessing. Knowing what I know now has made my life and my family’s lives so much richer because we know what to expect. And when I don’t feel well, I know I can count on it only being a temporary set back. I will feel good, I will feel well again another day, and that knowledge brings peace and joy into my life even when I’m exhausted and in pain.
i love movies
I love to go to movies at the movie theater. As far as I’m concerned, being absorbed in a movie is the perfect way to spend an afternoon or evening. Hubby and I do this as often as we can. We’ve become old and settled in our relationship I guess ~ either that or we’re both cheap dates!
Finding a movie we’re willing to see, much less want to see has become a major challenge over the past 15 years or so. It’s very difficult to find a movie that does not contain some sort of offensive material these days (by offensive I mean sex, drugs, violence, language ~ that sort of thing). Hubby and I are very picky about which movies we see.
Yesterday we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. When the original Pirates of the Caribbean came out, I didn’t think I would like it, but I went with Hubby and the boys just to be agreeable. I ended up having to admit that I loved it. We went to the theater 3 times to watch that movie. When it came out on DVD we bought it, and we’ve probably watched it 7 or 8 times since then. So the whole family was pretty excited about the sequel coming out.
(Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the movie yet ~ I’m not going to spoil anything for you.)
The boys and I went to see Dead Man’s Chest Friday afternoon ~ the first showing of the movie in our little town’s theater. We got there early because we knew there would be a line for tickets. We loaded up on popcorn and sodas, then found decent seats in the theater. Now, our local theater may be dinky in the world of high~tech theaters, but it definitely has some things going for it. First of all, it’s small, which means there’s decent customer service, and the manager is always around should you need something (like when the sound is too low in Cars and you can’t hear the movie over all the little kids in the packed theater, or when the movie just up and quits in the middle of a pivotal sceen). Secondly, their candy is still fresh. Since it’s a small theater, they don’t have huge reserves of candy sitting in a storeroom getting stale. Thirdly, they have a Frozen Coke machine. Mmmmm, Frozen Coke! When I buy the big combo ~ a large popcorn and two large drinks~ they will fill up my large drink cup with frozen Coke (another advantage of a small~town theater, they’re willing to do stuff like that for you!) And we get refills on the popcorn or drinks if we desire to have them. But the best part about going to a movie in our little local theater is: the popcorn is always fresh. They don’t have a huge amount of it sitting around for days like some theaters do. Nope. They pop it fresh whenever they need it. Every time I go into our local theater, the popcorn maching is cheerily popping away. And what good would going to the movies be if you had to eat stale popcorn?
Movie theater popcorn is the food of the gods (it’s just an expression). I don’t care if the “butter” they’re putting on my popcorn is some sort of bad-for-me imitation butter-flavored grease. It tastes GOOD, and that’s why I order it. Hubby and I always share a large popcorn because ~ and this is why I say I’m a cheap date ~ I don’t see any sense in wasting money on dinner in a restaurant when I can fill up on wonderful, warm, freshly popped, dripping in butter, yummy popcorn. And now I can throw in a frozen Coke? Pure heaven. It makes standing in line worth the trouble.
I can’t think of anything I would like to do more on an ordinary “date night” than go to a movie theater for an entertaining movie, fresh popcorn and a frozen Coke. I can wear sweats and a tee-shirt, I can even go without make~up if I want to, and I don’t have to worry about whether I’m appropriately dressed or not (ask any woman who has fibromyalgia and she’ll tell you the looser the clothing the better, and wearing make~up is torture). And even if the movie we see is a dud, I can still say I had a great time on our date because I was with Hubby and we got popcorn!
The boys and I enjoyed Dead Man’s Chest, so Hubby and I went to see it together yesterday. It’s one of those movies that I have to watch at least 2, maybe 3 times before I catch everything. It moves at such a quick pace, I don’t have time to absorb all of it. I enjoyed it more the second time than I did the first, mainly because I was able to understand a lot more of it. Hubby and I are discussing going again sometime this week. He’s home on leave this week, so we’ll go on at least one date.
So, now you know my secret. I am a cheap date; it’s really not too difficult to show me a good time. Just pick a decent movie and a theater that has good popcorn. Even better if you can throw in a frozen Coke. If I need to come back to see the movie again because I liked it and I didn’t quite catch all of it the first time, I consider it an added bonus. Then again, even if I do catch all of the movie the first time, who’s to say I can’t go back and see it again? It means more sales for the movie theater ~ keeping our local small businesses in business is very important ~ and it means more popcorn and frozen Coke for me. What more could I ask for?!
i love movies
I love to go to movies at the movie theater. As far as I’m concerned, being absorbed in a movie is the perfect way to spend an afternoon or evening. Hubby and I do this as often as we can. We’ve become old and settled in our relationship I guess ~ either that or we’re both cheap dates!
Finding a movie we’re willing to see, much less want to see has become a major challenge over the past 15 years or so. It’s very difficult to find a movie that does not contain some sort of offensive material these days (by offensive I mean sex, drugs, violence, language ~ that sort of thing). Hubby and I are very picky about which movies we see.
Yesterday we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. When the original Pirates of the Caribbean came out, I didn’t think I would like it, but I went with Hubby and the boys just to be agreeable. I ended up having to admit that I loved it. We went to the theater 3 times to watch that movie. When it came out on DVD we bought it, and we’ve probably watched it 7 or 8 times since then. So the whole family was pretty excited about the sequel coming out.
(Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the movie yet ~ I’m not going to spoil anything for you.)
The boys and I went to see Dead Man’s Chest Friday afternoon ~ the first showing of the movie in our little town’s theater. We got there early because we knew there would be a line for tickets. We loaded up on popcorn and sodas, then found decent seats in the theater. Now, our local theater may be dinky in the world of high~tech theaters, but it definitely has some things going for it. First of all, it’s small, which means there’s decent customer service, and the manager is always around should you need something (like when the sound is too low in Cars and you can’t hear the movie over all the little kids in the packed theater, or when the movie just up and quits in the middle of a pivotal sceen). Secondly, their candy is still fresh. Since it’s a small theater, they don’t have huge reserves of candy sitting in a storeroom getting stale. Thirdly, they have a Frozen Coke machine. Mmmmm, Frozen Coke! When I buy the big combo ~ a large popcorn and two large drinks~ they will fill up my large drink cup with frozen Coke (another advantage of a small~town theater, they’re willing to do stuff like that for you!) And we get refills on the popcorn or drinks if we desire to have them. But the best part about going to a movie in our little local theater is: the popcorn is always fresh. They don’t have a huge amount of it sitting around for days like some theaters do. Nope. They pop it fresh whenever they need it. Every time I go into our local theater, the popcorn maching is cheerily popping away. And what good would going to the movies be if you had to eat stale popcorn?
Movie theater popcorn is the food of the gods (it’s just an expression). I don’t care if the “butter” they’re putting on my popcorn is some sort of bad-for-me imitation butter-flavored grease. It tastes GOOD, and that’s why I order it. Hubby and I always share a large popcorn because ~ and this is why I say I’m a cheap date ~ I don’t see any sense in wasting money on dinner in a restaurant when I can fill up on wonderful, warm, freshly popped, dripping in butter, yummy popcorn. And now I can throw in a frozen Coke? Pure heaven. It makes standing in line worth the trouble.
I can’t think of anything I would like to do more on an ordinary “date night” than go to a movie theater for an entertaining movie, fresh popcorn and a frozen Coke. I can wear sweats and a tee-shirt, I can even go without make~up if I want to, and I don’t have to worry about whether I’m appropriately dressed or not (ask any woman who has fibromyalgia and she’ll tell you the looser the clothing the better, and wearing make~up is torture). And even if the movie we see is a dud, I can still say I had a great time on our date because I was with Hubby and we got popcorn!
The boys and I enjoyed Dead Man’s Chest, so Hubby and I went to see it together yesterday. It’s one of those movies that I have to watch at least 2, maybe 3 times before I catch everything. It moves at such a quick pace, I don’t have time to absorb all of it. I enjoyed it more the second time than I did the first, mainly because I was able to understand a lot more of it. Hubby and I are discussing going again sometime this week. He’s home on leave this week, so we’ll go on at least one date.
So, now you know my secret. I am a cheap date; it’s really not too difficult to show me a good time. Just pick a decent movie and a theater that has good popcorn. Even better if you can throw in a frozen Coke. If I need to come back to see the movie again because I liked it and I didn’t quite catch all of it the first time, I consider it an added bonus. Then again, even if I do catch all of the movie the first time, who’s to say I can’t go back and see it again? It means more sales for the movie theater ~ keeping our local small businesses in business is very important ~ and it means more popcorn and frozen Coke for me. What more could I ask for?!
life isn’t fair
Rumor has it that Bill Gates delivered a speech to a high school class about the things they did not and will not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept has set them up for failure in the real world.
rule 1: life is not fair ~ get used to it.
rule 2: the world won’t care about our self-esteem; the world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
rule 3: you will NOT make $60,000/year right out of high school; you won’t be vice president with a company car until you earn both.
rule 4: if you think your teachers are tough, wait until you have a boss!
rule 5: flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity; your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
rule 6: if you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault; don’t whine about your mistakes, LEARN from them.
rule 7: before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now; they got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were; so, before you save the rain forest from the “parasites” of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room first.
rule 8: your school may have done away with winners and losers, but LIFE HAS NOT; in some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many chances as you need to get the right answers; this doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
rule 9: life is not divided into semesters; you don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF; do that on your own time.
rule 10: television is NOT real lie; in real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
rule 11: be nice to nerds; chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Now, I don’t know if Bill Gates really said all of this, but if he did, love him or hate him, I say kudos! And if Bill isn’t the originator of these “rules,” then to whoever did originally come up with them, I say, “Amen, brother (or sister)!”
sports
Most people who know us know about out love for the game of hockey. I wouldn’t say it’s an obsession with our family; we just really enjoy watching hockey games. We even subscribe to DirecTV’s NHL Center Ice every year so we can watch as many hockey games as possible. During the play-off season, especially the closer we get to the Stanley Cup finals, you can pretty well bet that we’re at home watching the games if it’s at all possible for us to do so. If not, we’ve set the TiVo to record it so we can watch when we get home!
This year the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup. They beat the Edmonton Oilers in the 7th game of a best-of-seven series. It was a very good play-off and finals run this year. Two years ago (they didn’t play last year, 2004-2005, because of a lock-out), I didn’t really enjoy the play-offs all that much. And I’m not a Tampa Bay Lightning fan, so I wasn’t really all that excited about the finals, either. This year there was a lot of action in the play-offs leading up to the finals. It was a good play-off year.
It has only been a few weeks, but I miss watching hockey already. When we were in Alaska we were at the mercy of ESPN and NBC as far as hockey watching was concerned. We couldn’t get NHL Center Ice up there ~ a small satellite dish would’ve been a waste of time. But, since we were in the lower 48 for the entire hockey season this time, we watched a lot of games.
Watching hockey with my all-male family has been a learning experience for me. I was a cheerleader when I was younger (MUCH younger), and my parents watched football games when I was growing up, so I had some exposure to sports. I also dated a guy in high school who was a bit of a jock. He wrestled and played football during the school year, then every summer he would play baseball (usually at the peril of our dating!). I ended up married to that guy, even though he did choose baseball over me every summer (dumbie me for making him choose!). So, sports have been at least a small part of my life for as long as I can remember. But watching a hockey game with three testosterone-laden males is different than cheering from the sidelines or hanging out with your parents.
I’ve learned that guys see the world and relationships much differently than girls do. It’s the old beat-the-snot-out-of-each-other-then-shake-hands-and-go-have-a-beer-together mentality that stumps me. Girls would never do that. Once we cat-fight, man, it’s over and the war has begun. I’m not sure I will ever understand how or why guys can beat each other up then be best friends, but I’ve come to realize that they can, and that I don’t understand it. That makes it a little easier to deal with.
My sons are a good example. They are a different as night and day. They have fought, disagreed, picked on and tattle-taled on each other since the day Son#2 was born. Now that they’re 16 and 13, things haven’t really changed much. There’s not as much direct tattle-taling going on ~ they find other, less direct ways to let me know exactly what the other has done that he should get in trouble for. BUT, if you were to threaten either one of them, the other would be there in a heartbeat backing him up. I’ve seen it happen. And it amazes me every time. It also makes me smile.
It makes me smile because it brings hope to that place inside of me that as a mom wants to see her sons become the best of friends. To be honest, with my two I wasn’t sure that would really ever happen. But this summer I’ve seen a lot of bonding going on between the two of them.
Son#1 will leave in about a month for a town about an hour and a half from where we live to attend a math and science high school. It’s a residential high school, but the students can go home every weekend, and the school purposefully shuts down for a 3- or 4-day weekend at least once a month. I don’t know if it’s simply that my sons are getting older and are developing a little more patience with each other, or if somewhere deep down inside they’ve realized they only have a few more weeks to be together every day. Ever since Son#1 got his driver’s license they’ve been able to go out and do things together. They’ll go to a local fast-food restaurant for lunch then go catch a movie. Or go play paintball. Or go rollerskating, to the park, to the pool, to the store ~ whatever, wherever~ and they’re doing it together!
As strange as it may sound, I think the fact that we all (including Mom) watch sports together has made a difference in how my sons have grown and matured. It has taught them that doing things together, as a family, is important, and that doing things together also cuts across gender lines. They’ve seen grown men punch, claw, scratch and tackle one another, but when the game is over, they all shake hands and move on. They’ve seen examples of playing through pain, dedication to others (team), selflessness (teamwork), and appreciation for an opponent who does an outstanding job. They’ve seen examples of fair play and dirty play ~ and they have learned that there are always consequences when you break the rules.
I could go on and on about “lessons we’ve learned from watching sports together,” but you get the idea. I’m not sure who has learned more; me or my sons. There certainly have been a lot of lessons I’ve learned from watching the male of our species in combative play. Men always claim they’ll never understand women. But guys, there are times when you’re just as mysterious to us as we are to you. That’s probably something my sons have learned while watching sports with me; sometimes girls just don’t get it. And that’s ok~ I remind them that someday they’ll have a wife, and if they’re lucky she’ll be as interested in sports as I am. Because it brings us all together ~ just ask that jock I married.
it’s my windex
Have you seen the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding? If you haven’t, you need to rent it. If you have seen it, you probably remember one of the themes running through the movie was the main character’s father, who thought that Windex was a cure-all. Burned your arm while cooking? Spray some Windex on it. Got poison ivy while hiking in the woods? Spray some Windex on it. Got blisters while traipsing through the poison ivy in the woods? Spray some Windex on it. My family and I thought it was really funny ~ we still make jokes referring to it.
It relates to my life in this way: at some point I must have decided that water will cure most, if not all, of your day-to-day ills. Son#1 pointed it out to me just the other day. I had no idea I was doing it, but apparently whenever anyone has a headache, I tell them to drink more water (dehydration causes headaches!). When one of the boys has a virus, I tell him to be sure to drink a lot of water. All throughout the summer, while it’s blisteringly hot outside, I frequently remind my family that they need to drink a lot of water. Got a burn? Hold it in a bowl of cool water until it doesn’t hurt anymore. Got kidney stones? Drink more water and flush them out. Got gall stones? See advise for kidney stones.
When did I start doing this? Not that it’s not good advice to drink water ~ it is. A lot of our skin problems, headaches, and other illnesses come from not drinking enough water. Out bodies need lots of water in order to function properly. Water is good.
I just can’t figure out when water became my Windex!
fun lovin’ cows
The cows that graze the field behind my house have been spending a lot of time at this end of the field lately. I haven’t quite figured out why, since there are more trees in other parts of the field. Jake loves the cows ~ he loves to chase them, that is. He and a couple of the calves have a little game going. Late in the day the cows and calves will all make their way over to the fence that separates our yard from their field. The calves like to bunch up into a group, then stand there looking towards our yard. If we let Jake out, he’ll duck under the fence (it’s a barbedwire fence, not a privacy fence) and assume what I call a “pointer” position. (Jake is supposed to be full-blooded retreiver, but at times he acts more like a pointer than a retreiver). He’ll stand there looking at the calves for a minute or so, then all of a sudden he’ll take off and start running toward them. The calves scatter and run away. A few minutes later they’ll bunch up again in pretty much the same place they were before and wait for Jake to chase them. The mama cows don’t particularly care for this game, but they tolerate Jake well enough. One time the bull was out with the cows, and he didn’t think it was very funny for Jake to chase the calves around ~ we hollered at Jake and made him come home before the bull could get near him. I always wonder, exactly how smart are bovine? Do they know what’s going on, or do they just react when they see something they don’t like? Do the calves go back to the barn in the evening and stand around laughing at the silly black dog who falls for their trick every time?